UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

I absolutely cannot wait for these gymnastics events to be over. They are seriously bad for my disposition.

My girl, Nastia, got TOTALLY screwed.

I'm not mad about the tie-breaker situation. That is a computer-based solution to a problem that shouldn't exist. Here's the thing: gymastics, like diving and ice-skating and ski-jumping, etc... is a sport which relies on the opinions of experts. These experts are human. No matter how hard the sport tries to eliminate bias and incompetence, the results will be intrinsically unfair. There is no way to truly define a winner or loser in a sport that uses human beings to determine the results. This is a condition which the sport has accepted. But the new scoring system has been designed to mitigate human error as much as possible.

Unfortunately, they’ve created a system that makes scoring harder without actually fixing the problem, which is: THE JUDGES ARE FRIKKIN’ BLIND.

I’ve said it a thousand times, I’m not an expert. But if I can see visible errors from my T.V. at home, then there is no excuse for the judges to ignore them. Tonight, the Chinese girl and Nastia each did routines with the same difficulty score, which means they started dead even. The Chinese girl had visible errors and didn’t stick her landing. Nastia had fewer visible errors and stuck her landing.

Yes, the computer-based tie-breaker was a load of bullshit, but it shouldn’t have even COME to that.

I know what people will say: “Well, Reeva, you’re an emotional American. You’re watching the American telecast led by American commentators, which is supplemented by the blustering of Bela Karolyi. You’re not an expert, so shut the hell up.”

I will respond, “No, YOU shut up! Everything you say is true, but the scores are right there for me to see. And the judges have been systemically generous to the Chinese and overly critically to the Americans. Yes, Bela Karolyi has a bias, but I trust him, because he’s been in the sport longer than anyone in that gym, judges and coaches included. There is no way that Chinese girl deserved that high of a score for her routine, and Nastia obviously received questionable deductions. Basically, Nastia got screwed over by the judges and the Chinese girl won by a technicality.”

And then we‘ll pull each other’s hair.

Seriously, after watching Alicia Sacramone get screwed on the vault, and then this, I can't bring myself to watch the floor exercise competition. I hope I have my Olympic spirit back by tomorrow.



EDIT::: OK, it's been about 15 minutes and I'm much calmer now. First of all, the Chinese girl has a name, Kexin He, and I didn't mean to be disrespectful towards her. She performed a gorgeous routine and very much deserved to be rewarded. I take nothing away from her. I have to remind myself that in a sport with such relative scoring standards, these things happen all the time. In a way, these suck-outs are in the nature of the sport.

No, my beef is with the judges. So... judges: if I may suggest Lenscrafters... the eye exam is free.

Finally... GOLD for US Gymnastics...

I’m having a different Olympics experience this time around. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I watched so little of the Games. I was unemployed during the Athens Games, so… that helped. But the time difference is the real killer. The gymnastics events are happening sooo late at night; I can barely stay awake to see the outcomes. For the women’s team finals, I missed the epic meltdown of Alicia Sacramone, because I was having an epic meltdown of my own… in my bed. Wait, that doesn’t sound right at all. I went to bed, ok? And I hated myself for it.

The next night was a repeat. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for the end of the Men’s all-around, but I suppose I didn’t miss much – I think my man Horton finished 9th and the other one was 12th.

I did watch the swimming, though, which is always fun. I’m gonna be honest here: I think I have Michael Phelps fatigue. I’m invested in his run to 8 gold medals and all the records and blah blah blah, but I feel like the primetime coverage has become so Phelps-centric, I’m all, “can I see something else, please?” I mean, aren’t there other Olympic-type things going on somewhere? I felt the same way about the gymnastics coverage, too. I’m pulling for America and everything, but I’m not opposed to watching other athletes from other countries compete. Like, in the men’s team finals, all we saw were the Americans and the Chinese. The Japanese took the silver and I don’t think we saw more than two of their routines. What’s up with that?

The women’s team final was good Olympics, though, at least the parts that I saw… I really enjoy watching Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin work. First of all, they look like women. There’s a maturity to their movements and athleticism that I appreciate, and which I don’t get it from the Chinese girls. Alright, let’s just do this! I don’t believe for a second that all those Chinese girls are over 16. Some of them? Maybe. But most of them are still in diapers. So what if the Chinese government produced passports? This is the same government… you know what? I’m not going to do this. If the proof of age documents passed the IOC, then I guess it’s a done deal. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t put it past the Chinese Gymnastics Team to do anything, and I mean anything to win. The part that confuses me most is why they would cheat, if they did. Is it an advantage to be younger and smaller? I would think the inexperience would be enough of a disadvantage to discourage sneaking in younger gymnasts. Then again, the younger gymnasts aren’t dealing with beaten up bodies and even more beaten up psyches. Maybe it’s a toss-up. But those girls aren’t 16.



I hope the women aren’t too disappointed with their second place finish. Obviously, if Sacramone had landed her routines, or even just one of them, they probably would have won the whole thing. Any other night, and they probably would have won, but them’s the breaks, right? I thought they performed magnificently, and they certainly put pressure on the Chinese. Taking second place is always easier to swallow if you know the winner had to really work for it, and those Chinese girls definitely had to work. Moreover, I couldn’t be more proud of Sacramone and her teammates. In interviews, Alicia Sacramone made no excuses, but simply stated that her nerves beat her, which can happen to anyone. Meanwhile, the other girls stood by her, smiling and enjoying their silver medal win. After all, competing in the Olympics is an honor in itself, and a silver medal is nothing to cry about.

I will say that I love the America/China rivalry, because it’s one that I can actually see - like, for myself, without all the help from the commentators. I can’t really explain it, but I think I can see it. The Chinese are more polished and elegant, but the Americans (both the men and women) seem so much more explosive and powerful on the equipment. I think the judges have their preferences, too, which goes a long way to explain why the two countries are constantly trading the first place finishes. But the Chinese are also incredibly consistent, which isn’t surprising considering the lifetime of focus and pressure.

What does everyone think of the new scoring? It took me a while to understand it, and now that I do… I’m undecided. I applaud any attempt to make the scoring fairer, which I believe is what they’re trying to do. By establishing a degree of difficulty score, and taking the deductions from a separate execution score out of ten, and then combining the two – it seems like a good way to go on paper. But I have to say, it sure does drain the excitement out of the sport.

The degree of difficulty score is meant to reward the gymnasts who perform difficult skills, but what that actually does is force more falls, because some gymnasts are doing skills they don’t really have, so perfection becomes more and more rare. But it doesn’t do them any good to do easier routines, either, because then they can’t beat the harder routines even when they perform perfectly. Am I making sense? The Chinese guy with the hardest routine could miss his landing completely, and even skip a skill during his routine, and he would still receive a higher score than the French dude who performed an easier routine, but perfectly. So what happens is – teams like the Chinese and the Americans just shut everyone else out. The contest is decided before it even starts. I’m struggling to find the sport in that. Ok, I’m done.

That brings us to last night. I’m shocked at how into volleyball I am during the Olympics. I really enjoyed watching the Men’s volleyball team beat Bulgaria. And the Beach Volleyball match between Misty and Kerri and the Belgians was a real treat. It fires me up. How crazy was it that Misty and Kerri almost lost that first set? To an unseeded team? Who barely made it to the elimination rounds to begin with? I have no doubts that Misty and Kerri would have come back and won the match, but dropping a set would have been a huge upset in itself – for them, anyway.

I only made it through the first two rotations of the women’s all around in gymnastics. I was excited about it, but then I quickly became discouraged when the scores started popping up. After both Shawn and Nastia got screwed on the vault and the uneven bars, I decided to call it a night. I was getting all sorts of pissed off about it and I don’t like to go to bed angry, so I shut it off and went to sleep. I was thinking as I dozed that I was going to wake up to a major headline, “U.S. Team Protests Crackpot Judges,” or, “Luikin kicks balance beam judge in teeth – mayhem ensues,” or, “Shawn Johnson moons judges during Floor routine – audience gives perfect 10.”

I really don’t understand how these athletes and coaches keep their cool during these meets when the judges are throwing out scores that clearly aren’t based in reality. I don’t know if it’s the new scoring or what, but when the Chinese girl jumps on the balance beam, checks her balance no less than 5 times, steps out on her landing, starts with a lower difficulty value, and STILL manages to score better than an American who did a tougher routine and did it better… something ain’t right! That’s what was happening. I loved how the commentators were literally biting their tongues. You just know they wanted to call bullshit. Well, they don’t need to because we aren’t blind. Those judges were going very easy on the Chinese and that is a FACT.



So you can imagine how happy-slash-upset I was this morning to read that Nastia and Shawn managed to snap up the gold and silver. Happy because, well… it’s good news. But upset because I missed it. I’m sure they’ll show it again at some point (I hope!). The best part, though, is that the US ruined the chance for China to sweep the medals. I think it was the Chinese head coach who said, and I’m quoting loosely, “This Olympics will be a failure if we don’t win all the medals.” First of all, that’s just a terrific attitude, I say sarcastically. Second of all, SUCK IT! HAH!

Now we have to work on breaking their gold medal streak in diving.

Some bonus eyecandy!



We didn’t see much of him during the competitions, but Raj Bhavsar is sooooo hot. I have a thing for ethnic guys, especially Indians.



This picture made me laugh out loud. It’s incredibly cheesy, but I appreciate it anyway. For obvious reasons.



Ah, camaraderie. This picture does it for me, I’m not gonna lie.

Bronze = Win!

I was thoroughly enraptured by the Men’s Gymnastics Team Final last night. Picture me on my couch, a large afghan wrapped around my shoulders, rocking back and forth with nervous energy, a pillow close at hand in case I need to cover my eyes during a particularly stressful routine on the pommel horse. That was my night.



And seriously, who needs The Brothers Hamm?! I sure don’t; not with all this eye candy around. I kind of fell in love with Jonathan Norton a little bit – so compact, so tightly muscled, so happy to be there. I don’t know who the official leader of this team happened to be, but I felt like he was the main motivator – the emotional leader of the crew, at least. His floor routine was magical.



And what about Justin Spring, with that insane high bar routine? Like Jonathan, Justin was consistently good all night long, and he really came through when it counted. Just think, if Paul or Morgan Hamm had been around, we wouldn’t have met these guys. The thought of it makes me sad… and angry. After watching the Chinese robo-perform, I’m not sure if the Hamm brother’s presence would have made a difference in the outcome.

I have to say, though, the Chinese Team was kind of unreal. Based on what we heard about the Chinese gymnastics culture, these guys are true machines. While I admire that kind of discipline and focus, I’m not sure the American culture can cultivate that kind of single-mindedness. From observing, I sensed that the American team just wanted to do well and maybe, just maybe, prove themselves a little bit. Meanwhile, the Chinese Team competed like they had knives at their throats. A part of me thinks the Americans have it right, even if they don’t win gold medals.

I was so thrilled to see how happy and excited the American team was when they clinched the bronze. They could have been disappointed, because up until the last rotation, they had a really good shot at the silver. They had some missteps, of course, but with everything the team went through, and the intimidation factor of facing China at home, winning a bronze medal is a huge W-I-N, and I was gratified to watch them celebrate that - sincerely. Do you think China would have reacted that way if they’d ended up with a bronze? Yeah, I think the Americans have it right.

But I’m not hating on the Chinese, really. They were out of this world. Amazing. Well done and much deserved and all that. And I have EPIC respect for them, considering the level of pressure on them. They competed with great poise and professionalism, and even though they were the obvious favorites, they never gloated or acted “better than”. The Americans should be, and I’m pretty sure they are, honored just to share a podium with them. And really…



Cutest Guy Ever. Yibing Chen, I’m so glad you did well last night. Otherwise, we probably wouldn’t have seen you smile.

This is why I heart the Olympics...

Last night had some seriously awesome Olympic action, didn’t it? If you don’t believe me, ask my upstairs neighbors, who got an earful and maybe a slight earth-shake after Michael Phelps and Co. defeated the French in the 4 x 100 m freestyle relay.

I mean, GAWD, it couldn’t have been more dramatic if it were a movie! There was so much at stake… The US team was not the clear favorite to win. The French team had been talking some serious smack. Michael Phelps needed to win this race if his dream of winning 8 golds in one Games was to come true. The US hadn’t won this race since 1996.

And then, the US was behind on the final leg. Bernard, the French dude talking all that trash, was tearing through the water at a rate significantly faster than the world record, and Jason Lezak, the US anchor, was a full body length behind at the final turn. And then, in the last 50 meters, Lezak crept up on the Frenchman, but not catching up until the very last possible second with about 10 meters left to go. And Lezak STRETCHED, and the French dude tightened up, and OH MY GOD!!!

I got so excited; I hit my head on the ceiling fan. And then I screamed a little bit. For 10 minutes.

My poor neighbors.

Women’s gymnastics thoughts, after the jump…

Meanwhile, the ladies of the US gymnastics team started their competition with an audible thud (I believe it was an ass-on-mat thud, to be specific) and, you know, this is just not good for my heart condition. Shawn Johnson was the only member of the team who delivered consistently good routines on each apparatus, while the others showed clear weaknesses (read: bombed). To be fair, they were under a little pressure. As I understand it, five girls compete in each round during the qualifiers, and the lowest score is dropped. Well, the 5th girl had to drop out of most of the rounds because of an ankle injury, meaning the other four had to make each routine count. It didn’t help that Chellsie Memmel (and seriously, one day I trust the world will agree on a good way to spell Chelsie because it’s getting ridiculous… I mean, 2 L’s?? C’moooon…) fell off the uneven bars, which was the only event she could participate in thanks to a bum ankle. After that fall, she certainly won’t qualify for the individual medal on that apparatus, so… she’s kind of just chilling out on the sidelines from here on out. Excuse me, but where are the alternates? Isn’t it funny how I pretend like I know anything about gymnastics? Well, I’m just getting started – I can talk out of my ass like this for days! It would seem that these teams are built with specializations in mind, like… this girl is the vault queen, and that girl has the wicked dismounts on the beam, and so on… but they seem to forget: if this girl or that girl blows it on the big day, where does that leave the team? In second place to the Chinese, that’s where!
Despite all that, the girls succeeded in qualifying for the finals in second place behind the Chinese. I have a feeling that if the US girls can get their acts together and do their best, they can count on the pressure forcing some of the Chinese girls to fold, opening up some windows of opportunity. Based on the qualifying performances and the unpredictable judging (let’s be honest, this new scoring system is whack), I doubt the US can pull off an upset, but they could get close, which will be fun to watch.

Costumes and Choreography and Giant Flames...

I don’t know what you’re doing tomorrow night, but I’ll be making an imprint of my ass on the couch as I take in the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. I am literally rabid with excitement. Li’l Sis and I are even ordering Chinese take-out for dinner. We love a themed dinner party!

My expectations are very high… no one does pageantry like the Chinese, so I’m very interested to see what they’ve come up with. I’m looking for color, movement, and synchronization. How do you say, “Make it Work!” in Chinese?

Also, I’ve made a wager with myself that I can cut two miles off my next jog if I can make it through the torch-lighting ceremony without crying… something I’ve NEVER been able to do. I’m such a sucker for ceremonial flames and the lighting thereof. Gets me every time.

Most people tune out during the Parade of Nations, but I am OBSESSED. For one thing, the outfits are fantastic. If you thought last night’s Project Runway episode was full of Fug, wait until you watch an entire parade of national sportswear designed with varying degrees of taste. Now that’s entertainment. It’s also a geography lesson. Watch with your laptop nearby so you can look up every country you’ve never heard of on Google Maps. Learn something!



Admittedly, I am a little disappointed that this will be a Hamm-less Olympics. If you haven’t heard, both Paul and Morgan Hamm have dropped out of contention due to injuries. Of course, I will still watch the Men’s Gymnastics competition, and maybe this will give us a chance to focus on the other amazing male sex machines athletes on the U.S. Team, like Raj Bhavsar (pic below). I will miss the twins, but hey, we’ll always have Athens.

2008 Summer Olympic Games...

This is the time of year when I start to get really excited about the Olympics. If you’ve followed this blog through the years, you know how obsessed I get during the Games. It’s the only time I am EVER interested in sports, and the Summer Games bring out an extraordinary butchness in me. I watch soccer and tennis and basketball and marathons and totally love it, too. I also watch diving and swimming and gymnastics and wrestling, but for the obvious reasons (like this one, or this one). For about a month, I turn into the typical sweat-stained, wife-beater wearing, beer swilling, bad facial hair growing, straight male couch potato. I’ll sit in front of the T.V. and yell and scream and curse at bad refs and judges, and I’ll jump up and down until the plaster drops from the ceiling when I get excited. The Olympics actually make me emotional… I mean, I feel things. So I’m glad it only happens every two years.

But the fates have conspired to make the 2008 Summer Games less than magical…

This whole Tibet crisis is making me nervous. The recent protesting in Paris, in which the runners carrying the torch were mobbed during their relay, is just another link in a chain of events that foreshadows all sorts of trouble for the impending Games, and it breaks my heart. Some of that is guilt, though. I think the situation in Tibet is terrible, and I’m all for calling China out for her human rights violations, but I really hope the conflict doesn’t screw with the Games. Does that make me a bad person? Oh well, if the Games face a massive boycott or worse, it would totally serve China right, in my opinion, even if my Olympic experience is blown.

I’m not up to speed on the history of the Tibet/China conflict, but I do know the conflict is very old and very deep. So it’s completely understandable to me why the Tibetans would be eager to take advantage of the international attention that comes with the Olympics to increase awareness of their situation. But that’s my American sensibilities talking… you know, freedom of speech and assembly and all that jazz. It isn’t really like that in China. China is such a fascinating place. While it DOES have an abysmal record when it comes to human rights and basic freedoms, it’s still a powerful nation, capable of influencing the world in direct ways. The news today was from San Francisco, where both parties in the argument faced off – Tibetan sympathizers vs. Chinese Americans. It’s a shame that the moving tradition of the torch relay had to be reorganized and redirected on the fly because of relatively peaceful yet undeniably intense protests – many people who came out to witness the once in a lifetime moment left disappointed – but this is par for the course for Olympic host cities, I think. The double-edged sword of hosting a major international festival like the Olympics has cut many cities before. While China hoped that hosting the Olympics would highlight their progress and power, the media spotlight has also exposed their faults… their proverbial skeletons in the closet. Of course, they saw this coming, which is why they’ve spent the years leading up to the event meticulously and systemically rounding up and silencing their critics. In a way, they’ve created the monster themselves.

I very selfishly hope everything works out in a peaceful way so the Games can go on without too much drama, but I very much doubt such a thing is possible. I’m sure the Games will happen, but marred by protests, confrontations, scandals, and boycotts, all of which is in direct opposition to the spirit of the Games. I very unselfishly hope that the Games can be an impetus for change in China, because that would be good news.