my iPod and me...

Subtitled: How a piece of gadgetry almost ruined my life.

I know I haven’t been updating much lately, and for that, so sorry, but really, this blog has missed nothing. Truthfully, and without exaggeration, all I’ve done for the past week, excluding the miserable hours at work, is fiddle with my new iPod. Funny story about that… it almost didn’t work.

My iPod arrived like a new-fallen snow, or the first rain of spring, or a rainbow after a flood – it was all magic and angels singing and babies gurgling and what not, just as I’d expected. The first phases of getting it online went by without incident. My little computer properly downloaded and ran all the appropriate updates and programs. When the help wizard told me I was finally ready to start importing my music – I could barely contain my glee. And so it began. I started at the beginning of my first giant traveling case of CD’s, and we were off and running. The first CD I imported was one of my newer ones, Cyndi Lauper’s first album, She’s So Unusual (I bought it for Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and seriously, don’t we?). After the little jingle jangle that signified the import was complete, I connected my new Ipod and let it sync, all the while shivering with excitement… my FIRST digital listen! The sync went fine and the album showed up on the crystal clear screen of MyPod, and I pressed play. Ah, the joyful strains, “I come home in the morning light/ My mother says, “When you gonna live your life right!?” and so on and so forth, and we’re just about to rev into the chorus when…

Skip…

Girls, th…

Spazz…

Ey wanna h…

Blippity, Bleep…

Ave f…

Gagahgahgahgah… skippy skip…

Uuuunnn.


What. The. F*ck. Why is my iPod skipping? I don’t panic... no, it’s much too early for that. Instead, I erase the album, restart my computer, and try again. And this time, it’s much better. Sigh of relief. After that, the importing began in earnest. As my CD’s were one-by-one fed to iTunes, I read His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman, and watched some of the first season of Ugly Betty on DVD. Fine Holiday Fun.

All of that was Thursday night. It had been a busy night – 58 albums imported. Friday at work passed slowly, and when I got home, I went straight to my computer and began importing. As I put in the soundtrack to Chicago, I noticed that the music wasn’t sounding all that great coming out of my computer. It was fuzzy and…you guessed it… skipping. I thought, maybe it’s the CD, so I let it finish and listened to it from the iPod. All That Jazz was almost unrecognizable amidst all the hissing and scratching. I was upset, understandably, because what the hell good is this iPod if my Chicago soundtrack isn’t on it? Right!? But then I went to listen to some of the other stuff I’d imported. EVERYTHING WAS SKIPPING!!!

I think the cloud of obscenities that erupted from my mouth at that point is still hovering over the Kackalack in a dense haze. It might not be safe for flying.

Once I managed to compose myself, I went online to see if anyone else was having these kinds of problems. Can I just say that the iPod tutorials and forums are incredibly UNHELPFUL when it comes to troubleshooting. The problems discussed are either as inane as, “How do I turn this thing on?” or so complex and out of my league that I can’t understand the words much less put them into action. After several hours of hair-pulling and nail-biting, I was close to tears… but then I found a blog that answered my questions. Turns out, my computer doesn’t really have enough memory to support iTunes, and my laptop’s CD drive is a little outdated and can’t handle the speed iTunes wants to use for importing. So, some CD’s will import just fine IF my computer is having an amazing day and IF it’s the only album currently residing in iTunes. Basically, I was screwed.

I felt like I’d hit some sort of rock bottom. I called a friend and said, “If I don’t figure out how to get this G’Damn thing to work, Ebeneezer Scrooge won’t be able to hold a Grinch-scented candle to the level of Stank I will unleash upon this holiday season.” Clearly, everyone’s Christmas was at stake.

At that point, I figured my only options were to a) go buy a new computer (not happening) or b) use my parents’ nicer one. So that’s what I did… I took my iPod and my two giant CD cases and parked in front of my parents’ Mac. I said a little prayer to the Heathen Gods of my ForeGays, and BEHOLD!, the CDs started importing without problems. I was so excited that I just started importing with wild abandon. One album after another, over and over, again and again. Before I went to bed that night, I’d caught up with my previous stint and then some.

Four days later, and ImportFest 2007 is almost complete. I had no idea what a shitload of music I had. The iPod is running fine, and my parents’ computer has taken the digital onslaught like a champion. Now, though, I need to start thinking. I’m moving out very soon, which means my iTunes library is going to be stuck at home. Does that mean I have to come home every time I want to add something to my iPod?

Also, my computer is a PC and my parents’ computer is a Mac. My Pod can’t do its updates on the Mac – I’ll have to do that with the PC. Is that going to screw anything up? Does it matter if my iTunes library is on one computer but not the other? When I plugged my iPod into the Mac, it made me erase all that I’d already downloaded, which was fine because it was all skipping, but will it make me do that again when I need to download the software updates? I know it says you can use it on up to five computers, but does each computer have to have all the same music in its library in order for the iPod to sync properly? Will I have to erase and start over every time I want to sync? Is there a way I can move my iTunes library to another computer when I want to? What is the meaning of life? Where do we go when we die? What did I get on my shirt at lunch?

I need to lie down.