Thursday, September 04, 2008

The State of the Queen – Pre-Equinox Edition

The most important thing to relay to you: I realized earlier this week that I’ve just completed my 27th summer here on this Earth, and I didn’t get into a single body of water. Not even a swimming pool. I didn’t see the ocean. I didn’t wear a bathing suit. I suppose Michael Phelps swam enough for me and everyone else this summer. He also wore the Speedo better than I ever could. Seriously, he must be exhausted.

Some people think this is a triumphant yell, but I think he's yawning. I mean, wouldn't you be tired?"

Oh, wait – that’s not the most important thing. That would be: I’m an uncle. My niece, Abigail Lynn, was born happy and healthy on August 4, 2008. Pardon me for not telling it on the mountain, or more practically, telling it on the blog – I meant to, but it still doesn’t seem real. The rest of the family made the journey up to D.C. to meet the newest carrier of the bloodline, but since I’m just the lowest of the low here at work, and the important people needed vacations, and the phones don’t answer themselves… I was obligated to stay behind. So… I haven’t actually met my niece yet, which is tragic and frustrating, but also just the way it is. I will show my face at the baptism, even though holy water has been known to cause me to break out (IT BURNS!). In the meantime, I’ve seen lots of pictures, and she is officially the cutest thing ever, just as the oracle foretold.

Yesterday, the parentals and I escorted Li’l Sis to the Charlotte airport, where she began her epic journey of self-discovery and artistic maturation (also known as: foreign study) to London. There, she will study art, complete an internship at a museum, eat lots of Indian food, and meet lots of new friends with names like Nigel, Simon, Pippa, and Hermione. I watched her as she took off her shoes and unloaded her carry-on bag to go through security, and I thought this will be the last time I see her as she is. When she returns, she will be a different person: smarter, wiser, more experienced, and probably overly fond of crumpets and cricket. I really only have two dreams for her, which I communicated to her shortly before she left us for her terminal. First, I told her that I hoped living in the U.K. would finally convince her that Harry Potter is the greatest thing since LowFat Cheez-its. If living around me hasn’t impressed this upon her, maybe a country full of J.K. Rowling worshiping Britons will do the trick. Secondly, since I can’t be there myself, I must rely on her to complete my life’s mission of going up to the Queen of England and saying, “HeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeey, Girl.” I’m counting on you, Li’l Sis. Don’t let me down.

And tell your majesty I say, "How she durrrrin'?"

Now, moving on to the Debbie Downer segment of our program…
You’ve just heard me prattle on about how my brother just had a beautiful baby girl and how my sister is some sort of jet-setter… well, they make me sick, and this coat of black wool is getting so frikkin’ uncomfortable (not to mention smelly).

The only positive thing I can say about “work” is that I am still employed. Are you ready for the negatives?

EDIT!! (deleted to protect someone... I'm not sure who. Probably me... but you never know who's reading...)

That’s about it, I guess. The rest of my time is engaged in escapist entertainment. Specifically, I’ve been going through a rather engrossing movie musical phase. I’ve thrown my Netflix into a real tizzy. I decided I wanted to see all of the Rogers and Hammerstein musicals (I was shocked to realize I’d really only ever seen one of them all the way through – see if you can guess which one. I’ll give you a hint: there’s yodeling). And of course, T.V. is a constant companion. Things are about to heat up hardcore, what with all the returning shows in a couple of weeks. I think I may need to break down and get that DVR… finally.


Steve Shanafelt said...

Just to let you know, we profiled this blog post over at We're also thinking of having a blog meet-up next week, and if you're interested, please drop a line at

ashley said...

Ryan, do what you LOVE! If that's music, make it! Or teach it! Or get paid to listen to it! If it's writing, start scribbling (you have a good start here)! If it's travel, go places! Whatever it is... my advice to you is to follow whatever it is you love, and it will work out. A wise person once posed the question to me: which comes first, passion or success? Are we passionate about something just because we're successful in that particular endeavour, or are we successful at something because we're truly passionate about it? Can you ever be successful at something for which you have no passion?

Either way. Be passionate. I PROMISE it will work out. Happy trails to you, my friend!

Love, Ashley aka Erin's lil sis

Anonymous said...

1. I love and miss you like craaazaaay!
2. When I meet the queen which I'm sure I will I will definitely tell her you said holla!
3. No indian food yet, but we're definitely planning on going to Chinatown sometime next week.
4. I miss mcdonalds and sweet tea
5. I think you should definitely go to the blog're fabulous in writing and in person!
6. any news on dogville yet?
7. you're blog made me cry because one) i miss you and two) you're my hero!

Erin G said...

1.) you're right about your little sister coming back a different person. I'm glad you noted the poignancy of the situation at the time.

2.) congrats, UNCLE! I doubt she is cuter than Nathan, though, honestly. when you do go to washington, stop here "on the way" so we can visit.

3.) I'm not copying Carrie's list idea, she just did it first. but I would have done it anyway.

4.) you're FAMOUS and about to be the next hilton perex (but actually handsome), I can feel it. you've gotta start somewhere, why not spartanburg.

5.) don't quit your job. wait until april, unless you find something sooner in another city that will cover your relocation and the penalty for getting out of your lease. and next time, remember: job THEN apartment, or you won't know where to live. why not hunt for jobs in raleigh? I hear we're about to be a blue state.

Reeva*Dubois said...

Seriously, thanks to all of you for these great comments. They made me smile and they went a loooonnnng way to making me feel better.

Ashley - you're so right about the passion thing, and I'm steering all of my future plans in that direction. I'm not sure what my passion is quite yet, but I think you're right on that it should be my focus.

Li'l Sis!!!! Your comment made me cry, too, so now we're even. And trust me, you will be the first to know if there's any Dogville news.

Erin - I will certainly drop in for a visit or two (we're overdue), but don't forget - if you're ever coming down this way for football games, I'm right off the interstate and my house is always open (and kind of clean... ish). And it's Perez Hilton, not Hilton Perez, although it did make me laugh. And finally, Raleigh is on the short list, mos def...