Tuesday, April 08, 2008

A few quick notes on last night’s Dancing with the Stars:

I’m on the fence when it comes to matador costumes. The authentic trappings of a real matador are gorgeously made and decorated, not to mention very tight and flattering on the right kind of man. So, I have no complaints about the actual matador look. I get nervous, however, when a costume designer attempts to reinvent the matador for reasons other than bullfighting. I think these matador costumes can turn out really cheesy and corny if the designer isn’t careful. But other times… FRIKKIN’ YUM! Take Senor Mark Ballas – que sexy… que quapo. I wish I knew how to type upside down exclamation points because I would totally overuse them right now.

Meanwhile, The Yamaguchi’s leg is moving so fast in this picture that it has completely disappeared. Ok, maybe it’s tucked into the dress somewhere, but still… girlfriend can move. Team Yamaguchi performed a terrific Paso Doble last night, which scored an impressive 29/30. If I remember correctly, which I probably don’t, Len was the one who couldn’t be moved to give out a 10, but the judges were all a little off last night across the board. Anyway, the Paso is probably my favorite dance – there is something soooo sexy about bullfighting… except for that whole bull murdering thing – that’s just sad… but the pageantry and the masculinity and the colors and the life-and-death of it all; a good Paso really does capture all of that. I can’t say Team Yamaguchi’s Paso was as good as those performed previously by El Rey Del Paso Doble, Maxsim Chmerokovsky (did I spell that right?), but it came close.

More reactions after the jump.

Also performing well last night, at least when it comes to scores, Jason and Edyta. Their Viennese Waltz was nice, and I must give Jason credit for his excellent lines and extension (especially for a guy so big); but mostly, I was bored. And they tripped and stumbled a few times. The question of the day has to be: how did they manage to tie Team Yamaguchi? The answer is: None of the judges can keep it in their pants long enough to give any of the hot guys an accurate score. They’ve done this since the beginning, ya’ll. Remember Emmett? Or what about Helio? Those guys weren’t nearly as good as they thought they were – they were just on the receiving end of some major league pimping from Len, Carrie Ann, and Bruno. I’m not saying they didn’t deserve to win in the end, but the judges were more than complimentary throughout the season. Basically, what we can look forward to is about 8 more weeks of Jason getting really high scores whether he performs fantastically or just O.K. Wait! I really like Jason. Don’t listen to me when I go off on judge corruption. Did he deserve the same score as Team Yamaguchi? No. But he’s still way better than everyone else.

Marlee made Carrie Ann cry last night. Len and Bruno praised her for her musicality and showmanship. Len made a few soft criticisms about her posture and carriage. And then they all gave 8’s. Huh? I really thought she would do better than that.

Mario underwhelmed me again. I was really excited about him when the show started, but he has yet to truly impress me. Maybe his intense promotional schedule is taking a toll. The judges didn’t stone him or anything, but he didn’t score very well, either.

Christian was really freaking me out with the vocalizations! I had to mute it. Seriously. I know Cheryl is all about the intensity, but the pleather and the screaming and the crazy eyes… it was all too much. No me gusta. Since I had to leave the room during the performance I have no idea how he did.

I might completely surprise myself and start pulling for Shannon Elizabeth. I’ve been really impressed with her lately, and I’ve even caught myself feeling excited when she’s about to perform. All of her dances have been really fun, and I suppose she has Derek to thank for that, at least in part. I’ve always said he’s one of the better choreographers on the show. I was also intrigued to see Len give her a 10. Len rarely awards higher points than Carrie Ann or Bruno. If I recall, Jennie Garth received some inflated scores from him last season. It bodes well for Shannon.

Adam Corolla brought out the unicycle, which was cute… but also desperate. He was also dressed as Zorro, complete with mustache. My eyes are dizzy from all the rolling. I imagine that little display will save him for this week, at least, but I really wish he hadn’t taken it there, mostly because I don’t think he needs it. Truth be told, he’s been dancing quite well (his scores are low, yes, but on par with the group) and he has a fan base, AND his partner has a following that borders on cult-like. Sooo, why the schtick?

Priscilla took a dive this week, a victim of Carrie Ann’s inconsistent and entirely pointless fixation with illegal lifts. I know I’ve seen Edyta do a few already this season, so stuff it Carrie Ann. Anyway, the dance wasn’t anything to write home about, and there was the alleged lift, so the scores were low compared to what she’s been used to. She’s still ahead of Corolla, though.

Marissa and Tony did a sort of Paso Doble on the Rhine and again… I got uncomfortable. I had to leave the room. Ya’ll have to tell me how they did. Meanwhile, I shall continue to look disparagingly upon their bull-fighting lederhosen. I mean, do they even fight bulls in Germany? And since when do matadors hang out with milkmaids? The milkmaids are chilling with the cows… not the bulls. Ok, I’m done.

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