I really am a pushover.
I told myself I wouldn’t buy Jordin Sparks’s new album. I’m not sure why I felt so strongly about it – maybe because I felt screwed over by the last few American Idol Alum albums I’d purchased (ahem… Katherine McPhee…) (oh, and Blake Lewis). I haven’t been completely satisfied with an American Idol since Kelly Clarkson, and I’m thinking it’s going to stay that way. (And for the record, Carrie Underwood is great, but her music isn’t really my thing. I appreciate her, but I don’t love her. Does that make sense?)
The first single off Jordin’s album, Tattoo, is not at all bad, really. It wasn’t my favorite, but it grew on me. And then, I heard No Air, which, against all of my better judgment, became an obsession. Finally, I found out Li’l Sis also loved it, which was all the enabling I needed to head to the nearest record store and purchazzie. Crazily enough, the whole album is actually very good… I was pleasantly surprised. Snaps to Jordan for not making a crappy debut album like so many Idols before her.
And now: a lesson is phonics:
I particularly love how the word air has become: ayuh. So, for future reference, this song will be called No Ayuh.
And the word supposed, which is sort of complicated to say if you think about it, what with all the hard consonants – it’s one of those words that is technically two syllables, but sounds like more – has been changed to spost for the purposes of this song. As in, “Tell me how’m I spost to breathe with no Ayuh.”
And finally, the word me, a simple, humble pronoun, will be pronounced meh… or, if the note must be sustained for a long period of time, meyuh. As in, “How you gonna breathe without meyuh.”
And now: news:
Jordin Sparks has pulled out of several upcoming gigs, citing an ‘acute vocal hemorrhage.’ According to the websites I’ve read, that is a tearing in the lining of the vocal cords, which just sounds painful. Yesterday, some of the news outlets were calling her vocal injury a potentially career-ending problem, but today, things have calmed down, and it looks like she’ll just miss a few performances and be on vocal rest for a week or so. I’ve spent my fair share of time around singers, and let me tell you… Vocal Rest is serious business. Jordin will be communicating with awkward hand gestures and legal tablets for the next few days, and I feel for her. Get well soon, girl.